So you’ve beendating for longer thanyou can remember andyou’ve been talkingabout taking the relationshiponto that next leveland moving in together.Cohabiting, as it is commonlyknown, is arguably the most significantstep towards finding out ifthere is a long term future in yourrelationship. Scientific studies haveargued that cohabiting is better formen’s mental health than it is forwomen’s.Apparently this has something to do with thereduced level of ‘security’ that menneed to feel compared with theirpartner.
Unlike othermilestones of a serious committed relationship, e.g. getting engaged, having children oreven lending you his car, WHRT about moving intogether is that it can actually haveimmediate benefits.These benefits aren’t exclusivelybased around food and sex either!Even alpha male friends of mine(you know, the kind of man thattreats his car like his soul mate),have recently developed their thinkingand feel positive about movingin with their respective partners.
WHRT is: Ican enjoy her company on a more consistent/spontaneousbasis. Anything from going out tothe cinema or for a walk in the parkfor example to going for a short break abroad, can be done on a whim.
Selfish reasons for moving in together:
Routine – In a more clinical way, WHRTabout moving in together can alsobe viewed favorably because itallows him to plan his life better, i.e.he can structure his daybetween work, home, andspending time with you.Men are like children inthat they need routine, butnot so much so that theyare aware that they are ‘in’ a routine.
Finances –WHRT aboutmoving in together canalso be seen as having apositive financial benefit due to the possibility of halving his bills.Of course on the flip side, somemen can use money and financesas an excuse for not moving intogether.I recently overheard two guys (late 20’s) loudly bemoaning London house prices andafter about 10 minutes there wassilence before one of them said tothe other: ‘Well at least I can put offmoving in with Donna until the marketcrashes and we can afford acaravan somewhere… hahaha.’Guys who don’t want to move inwith their partner will very rarely telltheir lady why this is, instead theywill use excuses such as the cost, orthe distance from his place of work.Often these excuses aren’t evenrational as they conveniently forget facts like you’re practically livingtogether anyway, because he staysover more often than not andleaves in the morning to go towork.
Insecurity – These issues tie in with the insecuritythat some men feel aboutmoving into their partner’s home.It’s rare that you ever hear of aman kicking out a woman, and thefear of moving into a place whereyou could be one argument awayfrom sleeping in your car, is a genuine concern.These concerns can be just as delicate for him if moving intogether means cohabiting at theman’s home.
Ultimately it is another C word that takespriority when moving in together(no, not Celebrity Big Brother), butCompromise.Working out the dos and don’tsbefore youmove in together, andmeeting half way, can only increase thechances of success if you do decideto take that next step.